on bad sportsmanship

London seems to be a lap behind the rest in the preparation stakes. Perhaps they will sprint to the Olympic finish line with impeccable flair but as it stands, the capital's burning torch is not illuminating a flame that fuels global jealously; it sparks a sigh of relief. And with regard to the capital's spiralling blunders, one country's misfortune is another's opportunity.

Ireland have been quick to hop on the Anglo bashing boat, highlighting Olympic grievances and exclaiming the Irish ability to alleviate them. In a new Discover Ireland advert, two city bankers are set a challenge; yer man, as he is named, bets City Banker that he can arrive in Ireland to sup a Guinness quicker than the banker can trek across London to sip coffee at his office.

 The scramble through London and the hop skip and a jump (as it shows it to be) to the Emerald Isle are inter-weaved, all the while contrasting the sweaty, stressed London banker with the chilled, go-with-the-flow mantra of yer man on the road for an authentic pint of the black stuff.

Ironically, the draw is the fact that close to nothing is happening in Ireland. The advert could have transported us to the hustle and bustle of Galway, Dublin or Cork but it chooses the tranquillity of Waterford complete with sheep traffic jams and a solitary pint against a seaside backdrop. This time, rural monotony is appealing. Silence wins out to the beats of London chaos.

Yet why does Discover Ireland structure it's campaign around the frenzy of London's struggle under the watchful eyes of the entire world? Why can't it follow the banker's journey to Ireland without juxtaposing it beside the panic of the place he has just fled? Because the fact of the matter is, we tend to do better when someone else is doing that little bit worse.

Enda Kenny has pushed tourism to the forefront of his political campaign, and as the recession grasp continues, it is every country for themselves. They have returned England's outstretched hand – in the form of allowing the flame to pass through the Republic- with wagging fingers and a lolling tongue- na-na-na-na-na.

In a revelation that furthers this ruthless theory, a recent survey revealed that girls pick less attractive friends to be their pulling wing woman when on the lookout for romance. The assumption is that their looks lacking friend will only illuminate their beauty and appeal further.

Kenny on the lookout for an inferior comparison is able to scout England as, perhaps for the first time ever, his less attractive pulling partner. People don't want to go back to England's place- it's too crowded and messy. But standing beside it is Ireland- sure it's much better looking and you get a good pint there- no muss, no fuss.

In a more fierce criticism, the German magazine Der Spiegel brazenly mocked Olympic efforts thus far; “London and the Olympic Games are clearly not made for each other,” it reads. Visitors will need determination and most of all, patience to reach venues. And for all the locals, it can't end soon enough.”

But Germany, in this pulling equation, is happily settled. Out of everyone in the Eurozone brigade, they are the best off and apart from their smug knowledge that they would undoubtedly host a flawless Olympic Games, they have no need to shout London failings from their brilliantly pristine rooftops.

There is the niggling suspicion that if the lead up to the Olympic Games were flowing impeccably, neighbouring nations would be bestowing cordial congratulations and obligatory pats on the back- all in a global gesture of good sportsmanship.

Instead, London's nervous fumblings have been preyed upon, and others have pounced on their pre-match jitters. As our parents cooed to calm childhood spats, “Why can't we all just get along?” It seems hard for some to resist the urge to prod at other's failings instead of supporting or ignoring them.

It does have to be remembered, though, that there is a recession raging and times are tough-we've got to look after our own. Desperate times call for shrewd measures-well played, Ireland.